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New Favorite Wedding First Dance

I am not sure about you, but sometimes when I view something on Youtube I get stuck. Stuck clicking to the next related video, and the next, and the next.

So last night, in an attempt to find a wedding song I was looking for, Boyz II Men's I Do, I noticed other wedding song videos. Which let to the infamous, "surprise" wedding dance.

My fav's consist of this Thriller Dance. And you too, my be stuck looking at the list of related Thriller Dance videos.

There are plenty of other different types of funny wedding dances, this one was really fun.

But after about an hour or so of entertaining myself, I came across my absolute FAVORITE, because it is from my absolute ALL TIME FAVORITE movie, Dirty Dancing.

Dirty Dancing UK - Julia and James First Dance

So what do you think this Simply Beautiful Planner will do for her special first dance....


Maybe this: Get Me Bodied

SERIOUSLY?

Seriously? Seriously? Seriously? You are basing your MOH decision on looks? Seriously? Your sister is too short and your best friend is too fat and you are stuck! Seriously? You don’t want people looking down at your sister which would take away from YOU. You don’t want people looking at your best friends 40DD’s because that would too take attention away from YOU!

I can’t even begin….YES THE HELL I CAN!

I don’t know why, why oh why I am oh so shocked at the shallowness, insecurity, blatantly disrespectful, narcissistic, hating brides! But here I am…disgusted. Is this what your life is truly about, is this the big picture?

I think that we all need to stop taking such behaviour so lightly…yeah it’s funny or flippant to call someone a Bridezilla for the definition:

Bridezilla (a portmanteau of bride and Godzilla) is a generic term used to describe a difficult, unpleasant, perfectionist bride who leaves aggravated family, friends and bridal vendors in her wake. A bridezilla is obsessed with her wedding as her perfect day and will disregard the feelings of the family, bridesmaids and even her groom in her quest for the perfect wedding.

But I went a little deeper to find out really, what is happening to these, I use the term loosely, women. Here is what I find to be more accurate:

Disordered narcissism

Lack of empathy is a hallmark of narcissistic disorders, and sufferers find it extremely difficult to understand others' (and their own) emotional states and impact. This poses serious problems in maintaining close or intimate relationships. They may find it difficult to perceive or admit this flaw, or may reinterpret it as a virtue.

It is also worth noting that the individual expressions of grandiosity or arrogance vary with the person's value system. A person will generally attempt to display superiority as they define it.

· Overreacts to criticism, becoming angry or humiliated

· Uses others to reach goals

· Exaggerates own importance

· Entertains unrealistic fantasies about achievements, power, beauty, intelligence or romance

· Has unreasonable expectations of favorable treatment

· Seeks constant attention and positive reinforcement from others

· Is easily jealous

· Has a sense of entitlement

· Is interpersonally exploitative

· Lacks empathy

· Displays arrogant behavior

· Displays haughty behavior

A friggin’ personality disorder. If anyone, ANYONE, was to reduce my relationship, friendship down to something so, so…I can’t even find the word. But I tell you what, the decision would be made for this disturbed individual of where I WON’T be in her wedding and where I WON’T be in her life.

CHECK YOURSELF

*Note: This situation is not a personal client. And now that my rant is over, I will pray for her.

NSSM 200 - Apocalypse Africa: Made in America

Social Consciousness

I wanted to share my experience and my efforts just to bring awareness to a cause and just maybe motivate some action that may help someone, someday.

On Saturday, May 17, 2008 I was fortunate enough to view a screening of Apocalypse Africa: Made in America from Emmy Award winning journalist, Del Walters, of 3PE Productions

Here is some information regarding the film from 3PE’s website:

NSSM (original title), the groundbreaking documentary about Africa premiered at the Cannes Film Festival to standing room only crowds. The documentary, which explores the root causes behind Africa’s collapse, was hailed as “Africa’s Schindler’s List.”

Please take a moment to view a clip from the documentary:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=uZVdZ8MdPHQ

I immediately wanted to do any and everything to not only change Africa, but to also spread the word and assist this great effort of awareness. But unlike other social documentaries, such as All Gore’s An Inconvenient Truth or Michael Moore’s Fahrenheit 9/11, this film has not had the major distributors rushing to pick it up. So here I start, with this simply email, simply posting.

If you think your school, organization, church, synagogue, mosque, book club, business or corporation would be interested in viewing the documentary with producer, director and narrator, Del Walters and have an open discussion about solutions, please contact me:

admin@simplybeautifulconcepts.com

If you would like a copy of the documentary for personal use, please contact me as well and I can obtain a DVD for you.

If you are interested in what you can do to help the plight of Africa, contact Del Walters at del@3peweb.com or use one of the steps below:

• Write your local and national congressman or woman to demand the Federal Government renounce NSSM-200
• Forward this message to your friends, family and associates
• Start an online petition or discussion group

Thank you for taking the time to listen and be conscious. Be sheer determination and caring, American Citizens were largely responsible for ending Apartheid in South Africa…let’s end this too.

Peace Letetia

To Be A Princess

Queen Elizabeth’s Grandson, Prince Philip Marries!

The oldest grandson of Queen Elizabeth, married Canadian Native Autumn Kelly on May 17, 2008 in Historic St. George’s Chapel.

The chapel, the dress, the Prince, the Queen…ahhh! Doesn’t this bring up those fond childhood memories of becoming a REAL princess? Who hasn’t had that fantasy (well maybe some people, because I am oh so technical)?

Anyway, I am like many who got a shot of inspiration when Diana married Charles. She was a “commoner” and she became a REAL LIFE PRINCESS. That meant to many, many little girls, they could become a Princess too!

Childhood Princess Fantasies play a major role in the unrealistic expectation and ultimate disappointment in some Brides-To-Be. Let’s face it…you don’t have forest animals sewing a gown onto you while you sing arias to their delight. It’s actually your best friend and sister, they love you and are there to help you. Just remember, they, even life, are not perfect. So don’t expect it to be. It’s unrealistic. Just like me being a black girl from Baltimore marrying Prince William is unrealistic (I still think he’s hot, but Prince Harry is only 16 years older than my oldest daughter and when she’s 20, he’ll only be 36 and then she can be a princess and I can be a Duchess or a Countess or a Baroness or…I’m delusional).

So before you go get all Bridezilla on your family, friends or dare say, wedding planner, remember, every great princess was gracious, kind, humble and most of all persevered in the face of adversity with a smile and a song. That is why they got the Royal Treatment and Perfect Day (and because they were cartoons).

Wedding Porn - Kevin Swan Photography

I have been mesmerized by the Wedding/Engagement Photos from Kevin Swan. Maybe I'm just a hopeless romantic (well, I better be to be a Wedding Planner), but I have been oohing and ahhing over these photographs since Thursday night. The music, the love, the beauty...oh my!

And all I can think of is: My Turn!

Yes, since Mr. Wonderful and I did not have the traditional wedding (me, him, 2 witnesses and a justice of the peace) I am always wanting that fairytale to come true. Our Wedding. One Day.

Which is probably one of the reasons I am such a Beautiful planner, I've been planning and planning every detail in my head for the past 9 years of our marriage.

So, for my very own Simply Beautiful Wedding...I wished to be Swanned.

Choosing a Bridesmaid: Polite vs. Practical

One of the first decisions a bride to be makes is who will be her bridesmaids. Simple, right? Not for everyone. There are a lot of factors that help determine who you will ask to stand up for you in your wedding, including the standard wedding etiquette advice. But what do you do when it is not about etiquette and politeness but practicality?

No matter what the statistics say on marriage, they are beautiful and are still significant in our lives. Your wedding is supposed to be as you envision it, even down to your attendants. Think about their role, obligations and your expectations of them prior to extending the invitation.

But…for the not-so Beautiful issues, here are a few scenarios that can help you think of the what ifs that may come with choosing bridesmaids.

Scenario 1: You do not get along with your relatives.

Sad but true, some families have long standing issues and even hostilities that, although they may not be openly acknowledges, exist.

I once had a client who asked her sister to be an attendant at her wedding 9 months prior to the nuptials, just because she was her sister. They never got along. Needless to say 6 weeks prior to the ceremony, the sister called and backed out, because she didn’t “feel” like it anymore.

Now, whatever subtle issues there were between the sisters turned into a battlefield with the casualties being a lost bridesmaid, a lost junior groomsmen (the sister’s son) and an angry bride.

The Advice: Please ladies, it may not be pleasant to talk about or acknowledge, but if there is more of a potential that a family riff will rear its ugly head through your wedding party rather than due to not being asked in the first place…choose the latter. Also, if it will be a blow up either way...choose the latter. At least you won’t have to rearrange the bridal party responsibilities or have to get a new bridesmaid dress. I have an “interesting” family with “interesting” dynamics, I know how difficult it can be sometimes, but let’s actually face the worse case scenarios head on and then avoid them.

Scenario 2: Your bridal party cannot afford to be in bridal party

Yes materialism is shallow. No, money shouldn’t be a factor in how you select the important people that will share your day. But…it is what it is.

This particular client has chosen a bridal party that includes her 3 sisters and a few friends.

First issue that came up, her 3 sisters cannot afford to get their dresses or accessories, so her fiancé will do that. That seems cool, but then neither can the rest of her bridal party.

Second issue that came up is that the bridesmaids range in size from 2-22. Therefore, finding one dress to accommodate them all is out.

The bride decided to fix these situations by trying to find dresses from a low end retail store and the cost must be under $70.00, the same color and not need alterations.

Ain’t gonna happen! Didn’t happen. Now she’s stuck every weekend looking for dresses and time’s ticking.

The Advice: Brides, please take careful consideration when choosing your attendants. They have several roles and responsibilities that are designed to help and enhance your wedding, not take from it. If you don’t you may end up paying for their attire, gifts, planning and throwing your own bridal shower and bachelorette party all while increasing your budget. Or, your Simply Beautiful Wedding Planner will take over all the duties, which would make everything FABULOUS, but still increasing your budget for the extra services.

Your attendants are to step up to the plate, be there for you and lessen your burden. Choose wisely.

Beyonjay: Jay- Z & Beyonce

According to reports, R&B singer Beyonce and her long-time beau, Jay-Z have wed in NYC on April 4, 2008. After reports surfaced Tuesday of the hip-hop pair applying for a marriage license on Tuesday, little confirmation was needed from either camp as to their impending plans.

Without official confirmation from either Beyonce or Jay-Z, I would like to unofficially congratulate them and wish them all the best in their new life as Husband & Wife. Keep God as the Head of your life and all will be well with your soul and marriage.

I understand a celebrity’s desire and monumental effort to keeps parts of their life private and intimate. Perception from the media is a great and powerful thing and no one truly wants that to affect their personal and private relationships. With that being said, I for one would have wanted to see a pictorial of the event….not for my own gossipy sake…but to share and celebrate in the almighty Love.

Congratulations!

Realistic Wedding Budgets

After the proposal, after the acceptance, after the announcement the bottom line comes crashing down on you like a tornado spun house out of Kansas….How much is this going to cost me?

For most engaged couples planning their wedding, this is their first trek down the aisle, making their knowledge of wedding costs almost nil. Of course, if either has a close relative such as a brother or sister who has gotten married this century, they will undoubtedly be schooled in the “what costs how much” wedding game. Still, each wedding is unique and so are the costs associated with each. This article is designed to help you anticipate how much services will generally cost and how much you should expect to spend.

Let’s break down a basic wedding budget to give you a starting point:

* 45% - Reception
* 5-9% - Ceremony
* 6-11% - Bridal Attire
* 13% - Photography/Videography
* 8% - Flowers
* 4% - Entertainment
* 5% - Stationary
* 3% - Gifts & Favors
* 2% - Cake


This basic budget map will guide you in your selection process. You may adjust these percentages based on your priorities and budget. If you have generous and loving people who would like to “gift” you an aspect of your wedding, reallocate those percentage points! Similarly, if you contract a service below your estimated cost, add the savings to another category or add a category such as transportation, honeymoon, or rehearsal dinner.

Never forget the old adage, “You get what you pay for.” If someone is offering to do your photography and videography for a total of $500, BEWARE! Of course there will be deals that can include promotions from larger vendors, smaller competitive vendors or from new vendors just starting out. The trick is distinguishing between shams and deals. Prior to finalizing your budget, request quotes from 3 vendors in the following categories: catering, reception venue and photography. These services will take the biggest chunk out of your budget. Once you know what the average price is for these services, you will be able to estimate how much each service should cost.

If you are nervous about vendors and their services enlist the expertise of a wedding planner or consultant. A planner knows the market in your area and will be able to obtain quotes from reputable vendors. Another plus to using a wedding planner is discounts. Most wedding professionals are able to secure better pricing due to the development of working relationships and the prospect of repeat referrals.

Einstein said, “Everything is Relative,” but I like to say, “Everything Relates.” By this, I mean, if you spend $20,000 on everything from your dress to the limos and flowers, your food cannot be hot dogs and a punch fountain. Essentially, all of the aspects of your wedding should be on the same caliber. Don’t skimp on all the important things just to have one thing you think is really cool.

Wedding Planning - 5 Tips to Help You Get Started

As you prominently display the 3rd finger on your left hand…the news hits your mother, your best friend, your sister…and the screams begin. YOU’RE ENGAGED! You are on cloud nine. Everyone is so happy for you. And EVERYONE has planning advice, tips and referrals for you. Usually starting with, “my neighbor had ABC Company do her flowers”, “my sister-in-law had invitations done by XYX”, “and your 5th cousin Hilda’s wedding was beautiful in the highlands of Scotland.” Just a moment ago, there was excitement and happiness thinking about this milestone and your impending future. Now, there is nothing but lists, lists, lists. To-do, To-call, To Buy, To Decide. Pretty soon your head will be swimming and your own vision for your wedding may begin to fade. So, how do you get your vision and your happiness back? Follow these 5 tips to help you get started planning your wedding:


1. Calm Down & Get Organized – A little bit of measured breathing never hurt anyone. Breathe. Now purchase a Wedding Planner Binder. There are 2 types of wedding binders, pre-made or self-made. Pre-made Wedding Planner Binders can be purchased at stationary stores such as Hallmark or book stores such as Barnes & Noble or Borders, Books & Music. Some big retail discount stores such as Target and Wal-Mart may have some as well. A self-made binder will take a little work and a little time. Here are the supplies:

• (1) 3-4 inch 3 ring binder
• (20-30) Tab Dividers. Advice: buy the most tabs per set (ex. 8 tabs are better than 5); look for printable labels
• (50-100) 3-hole punched clear page protectors
• (1) Heavy Duty 3-Hole Punch

Instructions for assembling a self-made wedding planner binder are as follows: *Locate wedding planner pages or software online. Some will be free, yet un-customizable and others will need to be purchased. *Print all pages associated with the wedding planner. *3-Hole punch all pages. Tip: Buy 3-hole punched paper to save you time *Label each tab according to each section of the planning pages. *Assemble your binder. *The first 2 sections in your binder should be, phone numbers/contacts and any variation of a checklist, preferably counting down to the wedding. *Each section should contain2-4 empty page protectors for information, brochures, swatches, proposals, or contracts. Now that you’ve either bought or made a Wedding Planner Binder…DUPLICATE IT! That’s right, you will need 2 binders. The reason for 2 binders is backup. Just like your computer, your wedding planner binder needs a backup. One binder will be kept at your home or in a safe place with all of your valuable and final information. The other binder will be to carry along with you to meetings, fittings and tastings.

2. Make a Preliminary Guest List - A preliminary guest list will give you a rough idea of the size and cost of your pending nuptials. You may not think you have a big family and everyone fit a grandma’s dining room table during your childhood Thanksgivings but how many people have had children, gotten married? On your own and in private…start jotting down names and numbers. This can be as simple as one name, “Jane plus 3.” Do the same for your fiancé’s family & guests. You don’t have to know their full names and addresses. Just “Uncle#1 plus 2” or “Grandma 1 & 2” will do.

3. Research – The most expensive aspect of any wedding is the food/catering, topping out at 45-50% of overall budget. With your rough guest count, you will need to find out what the average cost per person for catering is in your area. To accomplish this, you can call various caterers on your own, solicit referrals from friends and family if they are willing to divulge their expenses, or you can call a Wedding Consultant. Simply Beautiful Concepts offers its potential clients a customized Simply Beautiful Bridal Presentation based on their initial free phone consultation. This package will include a preliminary vendor list and quoted pricing for services. The package is the client’s to keep, even if they do not select Simply Beautiful Concepts for their wedding. If you have your heart set on certain aspects of your wedding, location, accessories, décor etc. research those items as well.

4. Finalize Budget – Now you know what a realistic budget may look like. Sit down with your family and/or fiancé and decide on a budget. My advice to brides is to build in 10-15% variance on their set budget. Until you start looking at all the proposals and finalizing contracts, there is the potential for any one service to be more or less than anticipated based on the market, time of year and location.

5. Plan – Now you’ve got your wedding planning well on its way. Grab your wedding planner binder and start with the basics, ceremony location, reception venue and wedding consultant. Follow the checklist provided. Happy Planning.