New Favorite Wedding First Dance

I am not sure about you, but sometimes when I view something on Youtube I get stuck. Stuck clicking to the next related video, and the next, and the next.

So last night, in an attempt to find a wedding song I was looking for, Boyz II Men's I Do, I noticed other wedding song videos. Which let to the infamous, "surprise" wedding dance.

My fav's consist of this Thriller Dance. And you too, my be stuck looking at the list of related Thriller Dance videos.

There are plenty of other different types of funny wedding dances, this one was really fun.

But after about an hour or so of entertaining myself, I came across my absolute FAVORITE, because it is from my absolute ALL TIME FAVORITE movie, Dirty Dancing.

Dirty Dancing UK - Julia and James First Dance

So what do you think this Simply Beautiful Planner will do for her special first dance....


Maybe this: Get Me Bodied

SERIOUSLY?

Seriously? Seriously? Seriously? You are basing your MOH decision on looks? Seriously? Your sister is too short and your best friend is too fat and you are stuck! Seriously? You don’t want people looking down at your sister which would take away from YOU. You don’t want people looking at your best friends 40DD’s because that would too take attention away from YOU!

I can’t even begin….YES THE HELL I CAN!

I don’t know why, why oh why I am oh so shocked at the shallowness, insecurity, blatantly disrespectful, narcissistic, hating brides! But here I am…disgusted. Is this what your life is truly about, is this the big picture?

I think that we all need to stop taking such behaviour so lightly…yeah it’s funny or flippant to call someone a Bridezilla for the definition:

Bridezilla (a portmanteau of bride and Godzilla) is a generic term used to describe a difficult, unpleasant, perfectionist bride who leaves aggravated family, friends and bridal vendors in her wake. A bridezilla is obsessed with her wedding as her perfect day and will disregard the feelings of the family, bridesmaids and even her groom in her quest for the perfect wedding.

But I went a little deeper to find out really, what is happening to these, I use the term loosely, women. Here is what I find to be more accurate:

Disordered narcissism

Lack of empathy is a hallmark of narcissistic disorders, and sufferers find it extremely difficult to understand others' (and their own) emotional states and impact. This poses serious problems in maintaining close or intimate relationships. They may find it difficult to perceive or admit this flaw, or may reinterpret it as a virtue.

It is also worth noting that the individual expressions of grandiosity or arrogance vary with the person's value system. A person will generally attempt to display superiority as they define it.

· Overreacts to criticism, becoming angry or humiliated

· Uses others to reach goals

· Exaggerates own importance

· Entertains unrealistic fantasies about achievements, power, beauty, intelligence or romance

· Has unreasonable expectations of favorable treatment

· Seeks constant attention and positive reinforcement from others

· Is easily jealous

· Has a sense of entitlement

· Is interpersonally exploitative

· Lacks empathy

· Displays arrogant behavior

· Displays haughty behavior

A friggin’ personality disorder. If anyone, ANYONE, was to reduce my relationship, friendship down to something so, so…I can’t even find the word. But I tell you what, the decision would be made for this disturbed individual of where I WON’T be in her wedding and where I WON’T be in her life.

CHECK YOURSELF

*Note: This situation is not a personal client. And now that my rant is over, I will pray for her.

NSSM 200 - Apocalypse Africa: Made in America

Social Consciousness

I wanted to share my experience and my efforts just to bring awareness to a cause and just maybe motivate some action that may help someone, someday.

On Saturday, May 17, 2008 I was fortunate enough to view a screening of Apocalypse Africa: Made in America from Emmy Award winning journalist, Del Walters, of 3PE Productions

Here is some information regarding the film from 3PE’s website:

NSSM (original title), the groundbreaking documentary about Africa premiered at the Cannes Film Festival to standing room only crowds. The documentary, which explores the root causes behind Africa’s collapse, was hailed as “Africa’s Schindler’s List.”

Please take a moment to view a clip from the documentary:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=uZVdZ8MdPHQ

I immediately wanted to do any and everything to not only change Africa, but to also spread the word and assist this great effort of awareness. But unlike other social documentaries, such as All Gore’s An Inconvenient Truth or Michael Moore’s Fahrenheit 9/11, this film has not had the major distributors rushing to pick it up. So here I start, with this simply email, simply posting.

If you think your school, organization, church, synagogue, mosque, book club, business or corporation would be interested in viewing the documentary with producer, director and narrator, Del Walters and have an open discussion about solutions, please contact me:

admin@simplybeautifulconcepts.com

If you would like a copy of the documentary for personal use, please contact me as well and I can obtain a DVD for you.

If you are interested in what you can do to help the plight of Africa, contact Del Walters at del@3peweb.com or use one of the steps below:

• Write your local and national congressman or woman to demand the Federal Government renounce NSSM-200
• Forward this message to your friends, family and associates
• Start an online petition or discussion group

Thank you for taking the time to listen and be conscious. Be sheer determination and caring, American Citizens were largely responsible for ending Apartheid in South Africa…let’s end this too.

Peace Letetia

To Be A Princess

Queen Elizabeth’s Grandson, Prince Philip Marries!

The oldest grandson of Queen Elizabeth, married Canadian Native Autumn Kelly on May 17, 2008 in Historic St. George’s Chapel.

The chapel, the dress, the Prince, the Queen…ahhh! Doesn’t this bring up those fond childhood memories of becoming a REAL princess? Who hasn’t had that fantasy (well maybe some people, because I am oh so technical)?

Anyway, I am like many who got a shot of inspiration when Diana married Charles. She was a “commoner” and she became a REAL LIFE PRINCESS. That meant to many, many little girls, they could become a Princess too!

Childhood Princess Fantasies play a major role in the unrealistic expectation and ultimate disappointment in some Brides-To-Be. Let’s face it…you don’t have forest animals sewing a gown onto you while you sing arias to their delight. It’s actually your best friend and sister, they love you and are there to help you. Just remember, they, even life, are not perfect. So don’t expect it to be. It’s unrealistic. Just like me being a black girl from Baltimore marrying Prince William is unrealistic (I still think he’s hot, but Prince Harry is only 16 years older than my oldest daughter and when she’s 20, he’ll only be 36 and then she can be a princess and I can be a Duchess or a Countess or a Baroness or…I’m delusional).

So before you go get all Bridezilla on your family, friends or dare say, wedding planner, remember, every great princess was gracious, kind, humble and most of all persevered in the face of adversity with a smile and a song. That is why they got the Royal Treatment and Perfect Day (and because they were cartoons).

Wedding Porn - Kevin Swan Photography

I have been mesmerized by the Wedding/Engagement Photos from Kevin Swan. Maybe I'm just a hopeless romantic (well, I better be to be a Wedding Planner), but I have been oohing and ahhing over these photographs since Thursday night. The music, the love, the beauty...oh my!

And all I can think of is: My Turn!

Yes, since Mr. Wonderful and I did not have the traditional wedding (me, him, 2 witnesses and a justice of the peace) I am always wanting that fairytale to come true. Our Wedding. One Day.

Which is probably one of the reasons I am such a Beautiful planner, I've been planning and planning every detail in my head for the past 9 years of our marriage.

So, for my very own Simply Beautiful Wedding...I wished to be Swanned.

Choosing a Bridesmaid: Polite vs. Practical

One of the first decisions a bride to be makes is who will be her bridesmaids. Simple, right? Not for everyone. There are a lot of factors that help determine who you will ask to stand up for you in your wedding, including the standard wedding etiquette advice. But what do you do when it is not about etiquette and politeness but practicality?

No matter what the statistics say on marriage, they are beautiful and are still significant in our lives. Your wedding is supposed to be as you envision it, even down to your attendants. Think about their role, obligations and your expectations of them prior to extending the invitation.

But…for the not-so Beautiful issues, here are a few scenarios that can help you think of the what ifs that may come with choosing bridesmaids.

Scenario 1: You do not get along with your relatives.

Sad but true, some families have long standing issues and even hostilities that, although they may not be openly acknowledges, exist.

I once had a client who asked her sister to be an attendant at her wedding 9 months prior to the nuptials, just because she was her sister. They never got along. Needless to say 6 weeks prior to the ceremony, the sister called and backed out, because she didn’t “feel” like it anymore.

Now, whatever subtle issues there were between the sisters turned into a battlefield with the casualties being a lost bridesmaid, a lost junior groomsmen (the sister’s son) and an angry bride.

The Advice: Please ladies, it may not be pleasant to talk about or acknowledge, but if there is more of a potential that a family riff will rear its ugly head through your wedding party rather than due to not being asked in the first place…choose the latter. Also, if it will be a blow up either way...choose the latter. At least you won’t have to rearrange the bridal party responsibilities or have to get a new bridesmaid dress. I have an “interesting” family with “interesting” dynamics, I know how difficult it can be sometimes, but let’s actually face the worse case scenarios head on and then avoid them.

Scenario 2: Your bridal party cannot afford to be in bridal party

Yes materialism is shallow. No, money shouldn’t be a factor in how you select the important people that will share your day. But…it is what it is.

This particular client has chosen a bridal party that includes her 3 sisters and a few friends.

First issue that came up, her 3 sisters cannot afford to get their dresses or accessories, so her fiancé will do that. That seems cool, but then neither can the rest of her bridal party.

Second issue that came up is that the bridesmaids range in size from 2-22. Therefore, finding one dress to accommodate them all is out.

The bride decided to fix these situations by trying to find dresses from a low end retail store and the cost must be under $70.00, the same color and not need alterations.

Ain’t gonna happen! Didn’t happen. Now she’s stuck every weekend looking for dresses and time’s ticking.

The Advice: Brides, please take careful consideration when choosing your attendants. They have several roles and responsibilities that are designed to help and enhance your wedding, not take from it. If you don’t you may end up paying for their attire, gifts, planning and throwing your own bridal shower and bachelorette party all while increasing your budget. Or, your Simply Beautiful Wedding Planner will take over all the duties, which would make everything FABULOUS, but still increasing your budget for the extra services.

Your attendants are to step up to the plate, be there for you and lessen your burden. Choose wisely.